dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
