Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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