Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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