Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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