Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
