So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
