She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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