I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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