dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
