Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
