She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
