Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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