just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize