saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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