in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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