I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
