i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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