he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
