Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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