Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize