I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
