i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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