Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
