i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
