I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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