Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My breasts were aching with rage.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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