This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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