I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
