I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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