its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
