brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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