can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
