Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
