how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
