Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Houston, we have a blender
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
