so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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