Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
