somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
