I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
