Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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