It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
