yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
