i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
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Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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