Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
