Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize