I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Shame - the story of my life.
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