Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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