Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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