dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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