Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
