..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
