This is not my ceiling
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize