good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
