I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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