mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Never joke about your clitoris.
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