is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
