i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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