So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
